Week Three - No Problem

There seems to be this underlying attitude that most foreigners have fallen into. It's a black cloud that follows you around - surrounds you and tries to consume you. I never knew how to label it or what to call it or even how to address it. It is just this thing always present and alive; like it was its own entity, living and breathing. It is the way most people of China treat foreigners and it is the way some foreigners start to behave as a result - like they are nobility, Hollywood stars or gods. Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that when people treat you like a king you are bound to act like a king. And they do treat us like kings most of the time. But it’s the way of an ancient people to honor, respect and welcome a stranger – like the family that welcomed me, loved me and honored me because it was culturally correct to do so; to always make sure my glass is filled and to make sure that I have whatever I need no matter what the personal cost. A prime example is when I stopped a lady who was walking in the opposite direction of me and asked her for some directions to a shop. She was clearly headed somewhere because she was carrying a large suitcase. Instead of trying to explain to me where to go, she walked me three blocks in the opposite direction to personally show me how to get there. I did feel guilty…and grateful but my grasp of the Chinese language was not solid enough to stop her – not that she would have let me anyway.  It is selflessness that helps define such an ancient culture. But to a foreigner it is the equivalent to the treatment of nobility and it is so easy to walk around like you are a noble with the same expectations and behavior. When I confront some of the foreigners about such an attitude they all say the same thing - méi​yǒu​ wèn​tí​ (pronounced mayo enti) which means something like “no problem.” According to them, they can do anything and behave anyway because here they are kings.

Don’t get me wrong I am not immune to it. It is why I wrote about humility in my last blog – humility is the key and the very people who inspire my worst behavior are the very people who inspire my humility.

Alright – now I think the bathrooms in China deserve an honorable mention. I wasn’t sure I could handle the toilets here. They are simply holes in the ground and squatting is second nature, not to mention how much stronger your quads become as a resultJ Eventually, I grew accustomed to that strange commode and just as my adaptation reached its peak - I was stretched yet again. This time it was sharing a bathroom with someone else. I don’t mean we each have our own stall - I mean squatting right next to another person and staring like I have never stared before at a spot on the ground. It's kind of like "oh hi,.." and suddenly my eyes are laser locked on the ground. And then there are other people piling in the bathroom waiting their turn to do their business, so not only are you doing your business next to someone else doing their business but now you have the whole world watching you do your business. And oh yes - it’s not like I can hide my white behind because it just stands right out like a bright light on a rainy day. And it’s not like I can hide the fact that I am a foreigner -which already attracts attention - but now add that to using the bathroom. Wait there’s more - just when I adapted to this  and completely stretched past ALL my comfort levels. I now have to share a bathroom with a man - well that was beyond my ability to adapt to and I admit I would walk a few blocks to reach a "normal" bathroom. And there are the moments of having to walk through the men’s bathroom to get to the women’s bathroom. But ultimately, the worst was to walk in a small totally no private stall at the same time as a man walked into his. It was too much! Too much! However - in the end - when you gotta go you gotta go and once again I adapted and moved past what I thought I could do. In the end - we just simply nodded a casual hello, did our business and moved on.

méi​yǒu​ wèn​tí​